Theory on Mononucleosis. Oddly, not as boring as it sounds.

I have come across a new theory on Mononucleosis. That theory is this: It is a secret "instant-aging" mechanism for "kids" who are just TOO spry, happy, life-loving, what-have-you. I had it not too long ago and since then feel the strange urge to sleep 20 hours a day and my sit up count has gone significantly down. Yes, they warn you that it will suck up your energy for a while, but this is ridiculous. Instant. Aging. Machine. Nature's way of saying "stop being so young!" I mean it IS called "the kissing disease". Kiss too many boys (fun right?) (NOT ALLOWED) in your youth* and mother nature will get jealous and turn you old**.
I was all gung-ho about being like, "Hey, Mono, kiss my ass...if youcan CATCH IT AS I BACKFLIP AWAY!!!!" But sure enough...no backflips. Although one could argue that I couldn't do backflips to begin with. But that's not my point. My point is - Mono made me a senior citizen.
I should get into the movies cheap.
...Yes.

* FACT: Mono is most common in teenagers ages 13-19 (prime funtime youngun years) and in boys (the more rowdy energetic "fun" type, if you'll excuse my generalizing)

**FACT: Loophole...you can't get mono twice...so if you've had mono, and are as well angry with Mother Nature for stealing your youthful glow...by all means kiss as many boys as you like. Snap, mother nature. Snap.