Short note about this link - Check it out

This story - I have to say - made me cry. Not even like tear up. Full on cry. I am not ashamed. It's really special
http://neatorama.cachefly.net/notes-left-behind.htm

All Hallows Eve

Halloween. Hallow E'en. All Hallows Eve. All Hallowmans. However you say it...It still isn't scary anymore.
What's scary about eating candy and dancing the night away dressed as something "Scary"...or in most cases something borderline pornographic.
In my opinion, if you're going to dress as a zombie bride, you should NOT be wearing a push up bra, under a see through lace slip. You should be rotting and dirty and frightening. And somehow I don't think your boobs would be perky if you'd been undead for years and years.
If you're going to dress like that, at least don't provide false advertising. Don't say "I'm a bunny" say "I'm asking for it." or "I'm a porn star". It IS halloween, if there was ever a day to try it out, this would be it. But scary? Is Jenna Jameson scary? ....Usually? Didn't think so. Probably the LEAST threatening person you could run into save for the easter bunny. And I think even that would give me a good fright.
Besides the fact that it is usually realllly cold on halloween. You could say "I'm getting pneumonia"
"oh, what a clever costume"

Yeah.

Vs.

You tell me....Which is more goulish?

Looking back on that question, I realize that it should be a rhetorical question...especially since, give Jenna 10 years, and she might look like the previous image....

Juuuust sayin.

Whether you're scary or not, let's get to the point...Let's make the most of the holiday that gives us an excuse to bring out our weirdest, most bizarre, surreal sides, and blame it on the moon.

Or spirits.

Or something like that.

Sounds like fun to me.

P.S.

Anyone who goes as a vampire is not my friend anymore.

Puttin that out there.

P.P.S.

Anyone who goes as Megan Fox get's a prize.

Talk about a scary costume.

Happy Halloween

Brain Etch-a-Sketch

My homepage is suddenly in German. I don't know why. I mean I guess it could be another language, but it sure looks like German. Definitely not English. That's for sure.
I'm just sitting here staring at the German. And a tree outside the window in front of me. I kind of wish I was in that tree. But once I was in it, I'd get stuck and wish I wasn't in it. That's how my life goes in general. I think thats how most people's lives go. But mine especially.
Usually, I would have some sort of point to these blogs. Usually I would have at least one other form of punctuation than periods. But my enthusiasm is just not there today. Today that little black dot is all that is worthy of ending my sentences. . . . .. . . . .. .... . ...... . .. . .. . Take that, punctuation. Oh crap now I've accidentally gone and used a comma. Who knew.
Well THIS is boring. Apologies to anyone who just lost a few thousand brain cells. I hear there's this cool toy that builds new ones or something. It's basically like an etch-a-sketch that does math or something.
New contest:
Anyone who loses 1,000+ brain cells receives a free brain...building...etch-a-sketch.

Theory on Mononucleosis. Oddly, not as boring as it sounds.

I have come across a new theory on Mononucleosis. That theory is this: It is a secret "instant-aging" mechanism for "kids" who are just TOO spry, happy, life-loving, what-have-you. I had it not too long ago and since then feel the strange urge to sleep 20 hours a day and my sit up count has gone significantly down. Yes, they warn you that it will suck up your energy for a while, but this is ridiculous. Instant. Aging. Machine. Nature's way of saying "stop being so young!" I mean it IS called "the kissing disease". Kiss too many boys (fun right?) (NOT ALLOWED) in your youth* and mother nature will get jealous and turn you old**.
I was all gung-ho about being like, "Hey, Mono, kiss my ass...if youcan CATCH IT AS I BACKFLIP AWAY!!!!" But sure enough...no backflips. Although one could argue that I couldn't do backflips to begin with. But that's not my point. My point is - Mono made me a senior citizen.
I should get into the movies cheap.
...Yes.

* FACT: Mono is most common in teenagers ages 13-19 (prime funtime youngun years) and in boys (the more rowdy energetic "fun" type, if you'll excuse my generalizing)

**FACT: Loophole...you can't get mono twice...so if you've had mono, and are as well angry with Mother Nature for stealing your youthful glow...by all means kiss as many boys as you like. Snap, mother nature. Snap.

P.S.

P.S.

Today my horoscope told me to stay away from sharp objects....
ummm...what?

Flying on a motorcycle and other ways to remedy a bad day

It's amazing how a long day at work in hot hot heat can make you into a horrible person. The moment we closed today I let out a few screams which, I'm sure frightened the remaining people on the deck outside...once I realized the doors were still open to allow ventilation...
It is also amazing, though, how a jump in the ocean and a motorcycle ride can totally remedy that feeling. The ocean here was warm today and me and my coworker jumped right in, ignoring the passing float planes and boats. I then sat my wet shorts on the back of a bike and rode around the island for a good half hour or so. If you close your eyes, its pretty darned close to flying. When I was little it was just that semi scary ride that my mother didn't feel comfortable letting my sister and I go on. Now it's...yeah...flying.
So in short, today I screamed at innocent people, jumped in the ocean, and flew around an island. no big deal. Oh and I also wrote allllll about it because I'm pretty sure everone on the planet is dying to know what I did with my day.

Well here's what other people did with THEIR days...

An old homeless man circled a cafe all day finding new and creative excuses as to why he shold get free coffee. A kid got his finger slammed in a sliding case door and cried about it...10 minutes later...A stranger tried in vain to get a girl's number (quite obnoxiously) for about 15 minutes until being rejected via flying burrito, and I'm SURE Megan Fox did something FASCINATING to every male inhabitant of planet earth.

Also in the news, French people are the worst tourists on earth, and Japanese people are the best. I'm not that surprised. American's can be frustrating tourists but they tend to tip well, whereas apparently the French do not. I'm pretty sure everytime there is an article about obnoxious people from foreign countries, it is almost always about the French. Ze Frrrrench. I personally love France. And croissants, and baguettes, and all the other French things that go along with it. France is pretty much a sweet place, and the citizens just happen to know it. Which makes them less sweet tourists, as it turns out.

Anyway, before I spark a big riot of angry frenchmen I will move on to say only this...

I'm tired.
No links, no photos. No nothing. Just a short little rant about how most things in the news annoy me.

au revoir mes amis

Or whatever the term is...

Today was beautiful, and Megan Fox still frightens people.

I'm going to start out on a good note here, before I turn to my usual sarcastic dark side...Just because today was beautiful to say the least..

Today smells like the ocean. Sometimes it doesn't so much. Every now and then, though, the whole island really does. Some people don't like it, but I do. I'm not gonna go bathe in it or anything, but it's sort of a refreshing reminder of our surroundings I think. AND to top it all off with that storybook shimmer we all know and love, I can totally hear some kids playing hide and seek with their dad outside. Quaint. Meanwhile I am hiding away in my lair writing about it all AND I have totally forgotten my point, as I got distracted with a mildly entertaining YouTube video about Canada Day. Click here to see what distracted me and decide for yourself how funny or...unfunny it is. This just in, the hide and seek game going on next door is now "Game Over". In case anyone was wondering. These are the days when everyone wishes they were from this place. Everyone tells me how lucky I am to live here. And I am...but they don't know what it's like in the winter....Although some people love it in the winter too, personally I am loving the summer. And we DO get good summers here.

I'm not going to comment on the Michael Jackson memorial that was aired recently, but I will link these videos which...I have to say...made me shed a teeny tiny tear.
...Okay so I bawled my eyes out. Can you blame me?

Shaheen Jafargholi from Britain's Got Talent was one of the performers who stood out to me. Brooke Shields and Paris Jackson were also among the appearances who made a lasting impression on me.
The whole memorial is difficult to find online but can be seen in parts in YouTube.

Otherwise, the news these days isn't entirely shocking stuff. Lady Gaga wore a mask. Been done before. Although this time she apparently is obsessed with sex shop-esque clothing...Classy Gaga...Classy.
She is probably trying to find a "fashionista" way to cover her face after Kelly Osbourne called her butterface. "Everything looks great but-her-face"

Once again...The Osbournes are ever so classy.

So now Lady Gaga is trying to be like, "Yeah well I didn't take it personally, I just LIKE wearing fabric over my face to hide my deformities..."

It's okay, Gaga...everyone knows you're a little bit ugly....it happens.


Also in the "news" today, Obama was caught possibly checking someone out. Because since he is president he is therefore not human and also blind, it would seem. Also he never looks to either side of him....Also in his defense, the woman's rear end is covered in shiny shimmery purple fabric and it is PROTRUDING. You would have to be gay, blind, and probably dead NOT to notice it.

Plus, there was been a four year old tennis prodigy discovered, Britney Spears still looks like smoker-barbie-gone-asian in all her videos, Megan Fox is STILL that dark controversial sex symbol that no one REALLY likes, and Emma Watson realllly didn't like kissing Rupert Grint in the new Harry Potter movie.

The End.

R.I.P. Michael Jackson

Michael Jackson died unexpectedly, as the entire world knows, on the 25th of this month. It feels like the beginning of the end of an era. Some people argue that he died when he started to get "weird" some people simply accept the fact that he's died, and some will never really believe he is dead. He won't really be...his music, his style, everything about his is so legendary that it has been passed through to every aspect of the entertainment industry, and further. Even if you don't know it, that dance move you just learned in you dance class was Michael Jackson inspired. Those notes Justin Timberlake is so fond of...Michael Jackson. The glove, the pants, everything. So as we struggle to let go of one of the biggest icons of all time...do a little moonwalk, don a fedora, or listen to a classic - He'll always be around. It's just that now, some of us won't get to see him live in concert...Here is a link to his website, they are doing a special "remembering Michael Jackson" thing right now. http://www.michaeljackson.com/

Don't Stop Till You Get Enough

August: Spread the Love

I have been so uninspired lately, it's not even healthy. I think. Although I am fairly certain that your inspiration levels can not have any effect on your physical health...if they could...I would most definitely be in critical condition right now. Inspiration is kind of like air for me.
Anyways the point of this sudden little burst of writing activity:

Being born in August, I always got to be the kid in class who was not in the same month as a holiday, therefore I did not get twice the presents that month...I also didn't get an in-class birthday in which we were allowed to neglect learning for a minute or two to eat cake and be more than a little embarrassed by guest appearances by parents.

Yes August was always the random month for me. People would say "Your birthday IS the holiday!" But I didn't buy that. That had about the effect that "You can do anything you set your mind to" did.

Today - as I was off of work and laying in relatively hot weather that rose into this particular room creating a sauna - I became too delirious to really DO anything. So somehow I came about reading all the little text in the calendar days. Things like, "Mother's day (US)", "Write a friend month" Little things like that which, in some cases, I did not know about. And I'm pretty sure most other people don't know about either. Which was why I felt the need to BROADCAST THIS BECAUSE IT IS SO COOL AND SHOULD BE OBLIGATORY TO CELEBRATE.

Ready?


August: Romance Awareness Month.
August 25: Kiss and Make Up Day
August 27: Global Forgiveness Day

These are real official holidays. I looked them up.
Kiss and Make Up Day is pretty self explanitory. It is a day in which you can set aside all quarrels, put away your pride, and Kiss. And make up.
Apparently some people start fights just so they can kiss and make up the next day (August 25)
Global Forgiveness Day is celebrated by sincerely apologizing to someone. Publicly. And if someone apologizes to you, set aside your grudge and forgive them. Let goooo of ze baggage.

My life feels so much more happy now. Just because of those simple simple days.

Now if everyone would know about them suddenly...that would be great.

Tell someone you love them in August.
Forgive someone.
Kiss and Make up.

All very good things. Should happen everyday, but as Mother's day, Father's day, and pretty much every other holiday have taught us, sometimes we need a day off work and a calendar date to push us in the right direction. (Although since when do we get time off for things like that?)

Who loves Ron Howard? Not Dan Brown.

Tom Hanks has gone and saved a bride.
Who knew?
As if Tom Hanks needed to be any more of a creeper, he saw some woman on her wedding day when her wedding car got stopped because they tried to drive it through the Angels&Demons set. Tom Hanks said, "You are the most beautiful woman in the world today" yelled, "CUT!" and asked if he could escort her to her wedding. So basically he yelled "Cut" so the movie would top filming and he could get this woman to her wedding on time.
There are two things about this story I would like to point out.
1) Where's the flaming arrows? The monsters? The high speed car chase? If all you need to do is hold someones hand across a Piazza to be called a hero, I'm totally doing that next time I see someone trying to cross one. Of course if I did it, (me being, NOT Tom Hanks) I would probably get my face put in the papers as the Piazza-personal-space-invader. I don't think it would go over as well if I, or anyone else for that matter, tried it.
2) That is not fair. Tom Hanks basically butted in where her dad had been and made this the best day of this woman's life. Do you know HOW MANY people were probably getting married that SAME day? And had MUCH worse issues than getting stuck in some traffic? Not even traffic traffic. Famous movie set traffic. Tom Hanks really should have picked his battle more carefully. Gone for a burning building rescue or something.
So great. Now Tom Hanks is a bride rescuer. So long as your "distress" is something like...hmmm. NOT ACTUALLY REQUIRING HIS HELP AT ALL.
He also took the couple to the red carpet with him a year after the wedding.
Something feels like Tom Hanks is kind of pushing his way into these peoples' lives. Look out, hubby. TomHanks is GOING to move into your house.

Also in the news...

Ron Howard tried to get an author drunk. Something in the back of my mind wants to say "Oh Ronnie tried to get some guy drunk again. Better call the lawyers up." Just feels like something that might be recurring for some reason.
There's really not much to this story. Ron Howard tried to get Dan Brown drunk so that he would tell him the plot to his follow up books. The headline was much more entertaining than the actual story. So here it is again just for a good giggle:
"Ron Howard tries to get author drunk"
You're welcome.

Other than that, guess what-Jennifer Aniston hit the news again today. Not even a relevant story either. Some segue about how one of her ex-boyfriends made a terrible lame proposal. The article took one good chance to call her "unluck-in-love" again, even though it was totally out of context, and then blabbed a little bit about how happy she is to be in the limelight.

I think I should stay away from hollywood stories for a while. I'm becoming less and less impressed with every headline I read.

Although Ron Howard's line was good. Remind me to hang out with him more often.